My friend recently posted this. When I read it I thought how beautiful and well written it is. This is not an easy thing to do. Our Friendships/Relationships we have are constantly up and down because we LOVE that other person. If more people were to really communicate and really listen and respect each other, then we as a human race might be better.
I freely enter into this contract, choosing to live in the NOW with you and remaining open-hearted to future expansion of our friendship/relationship. We know nothing is guaranteed and “happily ever after” exists only in fairy tales. Love and relationships take conscious, consistent effort to maintain and to flourish.
I am free to make commitments and I accept responsibility for my actions. My freedom comes from the personal expression of my own power. No one can take away my power to be my self. I choose to help empower you, not to own you nor possess you. I choose to love, honor, and respect you.
I will be as truthful and reliable as I can be. I will not agree to do things with you unless I truly want to, yet I will be respectful of, and sensitive to, your needs and feelings. When I want something from you, I will ask clearly, not hint or expect you to read my mind. I will not create expectations in my head concerning you or your actions then blame you for their unfulfillment. I will share my love, joy, and caring with you.
I will never use your words against you nor divulge your private thoughts and actions to others without your consent. I will communicate to you what “privacy” means to me, and I will accept your definition of “privacy” for you. Any actions or words that relate to something the two of us said or did together should be considered private unless we have discussed it and agreed to reveal our actions or thoughts to others.
I will care for you when you are sick or hurt even if it means you want me to do nothing at all for you. I will respect that, in most instances, you know what is best for you, and what you need from me. However, I will not let you purposefully hurt or destroy yourself without attempting to persuade you otherwise. You may count on me for strength and emotional support when you are down and I expect the same of you.
We are separate and unique individuals who choose to enrich and cherish each other. Ultimately, though, only I can choose to be happy or not, fulfilled or not. I am equal to you, not more nor less. I will not compete with you and play “I win, you lose” games. I will enjoy your different qualities and work towards “win-win” situations. I feel proud of you and will not take you for granted. I will accept you as you are and not try to change those aspects of yourself I am uncomfortable with. I will endeavor to keep my mind open and my boundaries flexible. I will support your growth processes. I will not attack you in public or private when something occurs that I don’t like. I will instead accept it as a part of who you are and rationally discuss it with you in private in order to more fully understand who you are. I will remember your love and constancy and communicate this to you. I will not judge you against my past relationships, good or bad. Nor will I hold on to issues or grudges. I will enjoy sharing hopes, dreams, and plans for the future with you now.
Our time together has a high priority in my life. I value our time and will make conscious efforts to ensure we have as much time for each other as we need. I also recognize that we need separate and alone time, too. I will respect your right to be apart from me, and I expect you to respect my right to have alone time also. I have friends and interests that are not in common with you; you also have friends and interests not in common with me. I will not be possessive or jealous of your time away from me, recognizing that the fulfillment and joy you receive benefits me as well. I will be open to uncommon experiences with you though. Our careers are also important to us and I will be understanding when job demands temporarily take a high priority in your life; I expect the same from you.
When problems occur, I will work with you to resolve them as soon as possible. When I am upset or conflicted, I will center myself, clarify my feelings, and determine my issues before confronting you. Only then will I approach you to discuss my issues. I will never make threats of breaking our commitments to each other, leaving you, or asking you to leave. I will never intentionally physically harm you nor threaten to. I will not expect either of us to be perfect. Occasionally I will get frustrated and stressed and disappointed, but I will not reject you nor attempt to control your individuality. I accept that I will have times of anger, sadness, fear, and pain and will want your emotional support. I will not feel you are attacking me when you express frustrations or bad feelings.
I use sexual intimacy as a way to express my love and inner self to you. I will not withhold sex to punish you nor use sex to control you. I value our sexual intimacy and will be open to your sexuality and need, as well as my own. I may not agree with every desire you have and I will be open to new experiences. However, I will not do things I am uncomfortable with, nor would I force you to do that which is uncomfortable for you. I will not be intimate with another unless you are comfortable with it. If you feel threatened, I will show you my love and reassure you and listen to you. However, I will not let you control my actions if you have unreasonable fears or a need to have power over me.
I will be responsible for supporting myself, and I will share what I can with you to the best of my abilities. I have personal property and I will respect and care for your personal property, as well as our common property, as if it were my own. I will make agreements with you concerning mutual financial matters. I will not control you with money, nor will I be controlled by your money. I also will consult with you before attempting to change our place of residence.
I commit myself to growing and changing and creating a conscious future with you. I will do my utmost to live up to the spirit of this agreement. We may revise or renegotiate this document as we deem suitable.