I say I want to find me but, I actually have me.  I want to find more of what I want “me” to be.  There are lots of people in my life that are influential.  Sometimes I get off my path or what I think is my path and things happen.  I do not know why but, part of me believes that I do it because I am human number one. Number two, it is because of other people I am afraid to disappoint.

Seems like the more I am just myself, the more certain people want me to “change” or “encourage me to dig deeper.”  If I am not changing the way THEY believe I should be though, then I am not living up to MY greatest potential.  Why? How do they know what my greatest potential is?  IF I am trying to seek my greatest potential and yet to get there, then how do they know what my greatest potential could be or if I had not already achieved it!?

It can be very frustrating and heart breaking too.  Especially when you are in love with your best friend.  It is even worse knowing that your best friend loves you but, will never be IN love with you.  I do not have the body of hot models or the mind of great, intelligent soul searchers that have elevated themselves to a higher plain. I am me, trying to find me.

My journey will be a long one. It does not mean that I will not screw up here and there. I am not a perfect person. I am human and make everyday human mistakes like everyone else.  There will be love, joy, hurt, pain, fear, tiredness, and above all self-doubt. My goal is to keep on striving to find me and what I want. Not what other think that I should be.